5 Keys to Being Present and How They Drive Success & Happiness

on June 30, 2015 Divorced Entrepreneur, Resilience - Growth & Strength and Tags: , , , , with 0 comments
Present = Success & Happiness Being Present Enhances Relationships, Happiness, Success

Being present is one of the cornerstones to happiness. One doesn’t simply find happiness. Like success, true happiness is rarely stumbled upon. I believe it must be pursued – Happiness is a journey, not an achievement.

In life, and in the pursuit of happiness, I’ve found that I must be present. I can’t just go through the motions of life. Actually, I can – I don’t want to.  “Life is a Gift” and I choose not to waste it.

Each of my coaching clients has enjoyed the benefits of becoming fully present.  In their past most were very busy, always on the go. Being present has given them time to appreciate life and those sharing it with them.

Unfortunately, I’ve learned this lesson by doing it the wrong way and living with the regret. I’m hopeful that my experiences can spare you those missed opportunities and any regrets.

  • I’ve “been too busy” for friends who were reaching out.
  • I’ve heard my sons share something with me, but I was not present in the moment to hear and feel what they were expressing.
  • I’ve been distracted and missed a cry for help by a significant other.
  • I’ve missed an employee reaching out with valuable feedback.

I treasure relationships. They’re the most rewarding part of life and they feed my personal core values of both pursuing unique shared experiences and giving back with gratitude. A real relationship, whether it be personal, family, work, friendship, etc., rewards everyone involved.

Out of respect for the other(s) in a relationship, I must be present. I must be present in mind, not just present in body. So, what does that mean… How can I “be present”?

Here are 5 tips to help us all be more present in every conversation and every relationship:

1. Remove distractionsSilence your phone and lay it face down. Better yet, put it out of sight entirely. Close your computer screen. Show that person they are the most important thing in your life right now. This works even on a phone conversation.  This physical act removes your biggest distractions and helps prepare you to be mentally and emotionally present.

2. Assume an alpha listener’s position.  Face the other person(s) and lean forward, even put your elbows on your knees.  Hold your palms up. I had the pleasure of being taught this last year by Gerald D. Bell, Ph.D the world renowned listening expert. “Listen like you were a child”, he taught us. 

3. Open your mind to listen. Listening is loving.  Wipe your to-do list out of your head. Clear your mind. Listen to this person as if you were going to repeat back to them everything they told you. When your brain begins to think, it stops listening. So, don’t let it think.   

4. Use the “I heard you say” tool.  Practice this skill. Say the words exactly as you heard them and sit quietly while the other person corrects you or ads clarity to their feelings. As you listen, empathize with them. 

5. Listen first before speaking. Think about what you heard before answering any question. Ask questions to be certain you understand their point of view. When you speak, don’t give advice, instead share experiences.  

Be present. Sometimes silence is perfect, but much of the time being present means understanding and sharing. Listen more, remove all distractions, listen fully, talk less, and empathize.

Being present drives success and drives happiness. Consistently being present equates to more business, deeper personal relationships, less stress, and more of life’s incredible experiences.

Live in the present. Give the gift of presence.

Life is a Gift!
~ bill

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