The 5 Anchors That Will Help You Become Present and Aware of the Good in Your Life

on March 31, 2016 Divorced Entrepreneur, Resilience - Growth & Strength and Tags: , , , , , , with 0 comments
My entire life rebounded. My entire life rebounded. My relationships all improved. My professional life took off. My happiness went sky high.
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I’ve struggled during several periods in my life with how to be fully present and aware, engaged as a parent and being the best father I could possibly be. It’s not unique to the divorced, but being an entrepreneur and newly divorced it was extraordinarily difficult for me.

While I was always a proud father participating in my sons’ lives, I was often lost or detached. Married, we split “duties” like carpooling and the morning get-ready hustle. The schedule and the hurry-hurry made it all too easy not to engage deeply.

Add to that, becoming divorced and doing life as a single dad – now you’ve got an emotional struggle added to the physical, the business, and the  financial struggles.

Yes, I was on the sideline watching the game, I was on the ski lift with the boys, I was at the breakfast table – but was I truly present? Going through the motions and being physically present didn’t cut it. I knew I needed to do more, and wanted to be more for my sons.

Here’s how I shifted the presence and awareness tides in my life:

  1. Clarified my core values. Top of the list for me: Be a father first. Above all else in my life, I chose this as the most important. It became a driving force within me. This clarification and declaration simplified many decisions.
  2. Made time for me. This is not selfish, it’s selfless. I had to take care of myself physically and emotionally in order to be the best father I could be. I’ve written about how difficult this was amidst depression and failure. If I can do this, anyone can.
  3. Built boundaries. I chose activities carefully and friends even more carefully, seeking only those that added to my life. While I started with yes-to-everything right after divorce in the “go crazy” time, I selectively changed and learned that quality was more rewarding than quantity.
  4. Developed new traditions. A simple example: Monday dine-around. Every Monday my sons and I would go out to eat. We took turns choosing the restaurant, and it had to be somewhere new. We had the best times together; no phones, no distractions, always and adventure, and many, many great stories!
  5. Established rituals. Structure and rituals, while seemingly burdensome, actually set me free. I built rituals for my exercise, my food, my mornings, etc. and what these each brought was more space and time to spend on what I loved. I began pursuing my passions again.

 

This is how I became more engaged as a parent and how I structured my life in order to create space. With space came time and focus, and with those I became much more present and aware.

My entire life rebounded. My relationships all improved. My professional life took off. My happiness went sky high.

Now I help others do the same. Whether professionally or personally, there are steps and a process to become ever present and aware. You don’t have to live detached. It starts with you, and you are worth it!

After all, Life is a Gift!

~bill

30 years of strategic, entrepreneurial business growth along with two brushes with death have earned him the tag “ResilienceGuy”. Bill Douglas is an accomplished Mentor, Coach & Speaker helping entrepreneurs & executives with growth and strength.

Reach Bill:   Email   |   LinkedIn   |   Twitter   |   Facebook   |   Blog

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Photo: Flickr/The Erin

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